Getting a Grip

Kawkado-09/24/2016

On the way to meet King Simon Just as in the battle for Bridge Superior, Persephone was lagging behind on the ride through Celanthus. Her horse pressed on at a comfortable pace, but the rider's discomfort was apparent even to those who had not seen her try to fight. Her hands trembled enough to cause the reins themselves to shake, and her body would lean slowly to one side, correcting itself before starting to drift in the other direction. With her head hanging low, Persephone's pomegranate-tinted bangs covered her eyes, like the face guard of a helmet.

LadyDeme-09/24/2016

Delphine's walk slowed during the march -- whatever was in her heart, she kept it sealed, and trotted among the ranks with a smile. She whistled as gradually, her steps became lingering -- as if exhausted, the slow winding up of her body gradually winding down. The countryside stretched around them, the dryer plains and hardwood forests that soon would give way to rainforests as they deepened through the interior, and Delphine watched it all, noticing the shift in flowers: already, less familiar than before. Already, the bridge seemed like it had crossed them into another world. She was slowing for that -- and for the pace of Persephone. Delphine sidled up alongside the horse, her expression soft. "Hey, Seph. Are you well?" Delphine looked up, under the curtain of her bangs, trying to read the mask of the woman's face. They were fairly well-acquainted, though they met in person infrequently, since both were not commonly at Floribar's central court.

Kawkado-09/24/2016

"...de Amarana." Formal, as always, but dryer than usual. It had been several years since Persephone had protested to her use of that nickname, though this ceasefire was more of a concession than an endorsement. Delphine saw empty eyes, framed by tight wrinkles of stress, and cheeks still stained by tears. But Cawdor's heir did not turn her gaze from the patchy grasses beneath them. While the Ethysian plains had been largely foreign to Persephone, the chance to journey through a land that had mostly lived in her imagination had been something of a treat. But this alien land brought no comfort to her, only a longing greater than any illustration could have. "What a blessing to see that you made it through safely. That battle was....dreadful enough, even in victory."(edited)

LadyDeme-09/24/2016

Delphine saw the expression -- and for a moment, her own features may have lifted in surprise. Persephone had, she'd assumed from the girl's letters, prepared for this. For fighting. She'd practiced with the sword, studied military culture with such pride. Completely unlike Delphine. Then, a momentary pause, during which Delphine simply patted Persephone's leg, considering the possibility... That there was no preperation, but the sight of blood. "It really was. I would hardly say it was the most dreadful thing I 've seen, but..." There was something to Delphine's voice. Something strained, full of a pressure she rarely was willing to admit. Somehow, saying that hey, at least no one watched a face rot on a pike this time was, she decided, something locked away where no one had to see it. Her eyes scrunched up as her mouth pulled at the edges -- but they were no brighter than her companion, and her eyes were shadowed. "...It's a frankly meaningless difference, isn't it? Those damn foolish soldiers... Even those villagers, before we showed up. And it was close for us, too." She had noticed -- not everyone dead there had been dressed for battle. She had seen their faces, their final expressions. Men all looked the same when they were dead, she'd realized -- if there'd been friends mixed in with foes, their expressions would have all been the same.

Kawkado-09/24/2016

Delphine's touch received, in response, a twitch of the hands (the right one, in particular, dropped quite visibly for a moment) and a turn of the head. The muscles of Persephone's face took to their craft immediately, being rather experienced in maskmaking, and the girl's look of fatigue and horror was swiftly replaced with proprietous sorrow. She quietly urged Yuridia to slow down as she listened, presuming the healer to be exhausted from walking on her own. "I'm afraid...there was nothing foolish in their conduct, Madameoiselle. How I wish that they would have stopped to listen to His Highness. Yet their orders were to fight...and they fought beautifully." Even looking at her peer, his face still haunted her empty eyes. The Ethysian swordsman, windswept and wounded, had continued to cross swords with her. She knew from his stance, and the wounds she still felt on her own shoulder, that he had practiced the same modes and maneuvers as her.... She'd never felt so ugly.(edited)

LadyDeme-09/24/2016

Delphine had hardly been moving slower than Persephone's own lagging pace -- all the same, she was grateful for the pause, and allowed them, for the moment, both the pretext of some ease in the face of... Everything. The statement itself... Was pure Persephone, and Delphine's smile was wistful as she shook her head. "Beautiful? Hm. Well, I suppose beauty is subjective -- I cannot believe in a beautiful death, though..." There was nothing beautiful about those corpses -- her father's corpse -- the villager's corpses. Life was beautiful, and she believed it. But death was only tragic. When she said it like that, her breath was a little easier, and it came from her in a soft sigh almost like a relief. Yes, think only of philosophy. She waved a hand as she walked, ignoring the strained sound of her own voice, a reedy woodwind against the backdrop of nature. Some of those soldiers were, in their own way, no different from them. Others had been brigands. "I'd hardly deny it, for some. Some of them had their orders: and they died for them, as we would have... I can't hate them for it. But I cannot call it wise. The wise thing would be to live. To listen to Finn, as you say." That had been her mother's approach, and it had been the approach wanted for her by people far better than that. To ride, to charge, to die -- it just meant more bodies, falling off the long bridge; it just meant dying before the gates of your city. She slowed to a stop, as her smile grew to teeter on a tightwire. In the distance, the shape of the trees wavered, the rainforests shrouded in a mist -- yes, it must have been a mist. Delphine lifted her head an admitted in a small voice, "...Just because something is foolish does not mean... Oh, I don't know. I guess I'm just a fool."(edited)

September 25, 2016

Kawkado-09/25/2016

A beautiful death. That was what Persephone had craved. The first man she had defeated, it was from behind. His back was turned, he was running for her dear Arty, and she knew she had to fight, and it was so fast, and easy, not a foot longer than the end of a duel...but it was all wrong. Crunchy, sticky, stinky....and yet no salute, or decision. Still an endless bout, despite all the protests she'd shrieked at the time. A hand fell to her stomach, but Persephone swiftly lifted it to her chest in shameful fist. "O-...of course you would see it as such, please excuse me. I was insensitive..." As the academic went on, Persephone held her tongue at the sound of usual retorts...until the Flower of Amarana declared herself a fool, summoning the rider's gaze sideways to her with a look of genuine concern. ".....Amarana, are you hurt!? Heavens, not once in my life have I heard you admit such a...blight of your own mind!" The swordswoman turned back to the healing staff awarded to her by the village, but she stayed her hand. Any sickness beyond the means a capable healer was nothing that Persephone could stop. And perhaps this was another expression of Delphine's usual disregard for any sort of dignity... Her only other response was a cold, centering sigh.(edited)

LadyDeme-09/25/2016

The concern was almost comical, and it must have been soothing, then, to hear Delphine chuckle. She tilted her head forward, ducking away her helpless expression, even as she sounded glad. What would she do without people like that, who assumed she'd admit no error without there being something wrong? Where would be without someone that knew her well enough to care? She waved her left hand airily. "I'm... Well, it's not like I won't admit I've done something stupid when I have -- even wise men are foolish when the situation demands, but... I... " How did she even answer it? With Lorenzo, it would be one thing to say she was fine, or to say she was not, whichever she pleased. But she could hear Persephone herself, dangling by a string. Delphine hadn't slowed for her own sake -- her feet ached, yes, but looking after herself could hardly be the only thing she did. She felt a sort of cautious edging herself forward, as she admitted, "I'm unharmed. After all that's occured, though... Well, it hit rather hard, didn't it?" She turned now, not necessarily for affirmation or reassurance, but with a look that had no judgement in it. It was patient, and quiet. Even making such a face was a strange comfort, trying to wrap its way around the knot that lived at the core of her gut. It had all been unthinkable, before the war -- even if you'd thought of it. Now, it was hard to think of things, sometimes, besides the bloat of corpses, the strangely empty sound of a body rolling off the bridge and into the water, the sound of screaming rising like a tide all around her, and so little to -- so little to be done.

Kawkado-09/25/2016

But the laughter rang coldly in Persephone's ears, yet another Floribian dismissal of honor and truth. More mockery of a child who had learned her place before she had learned her alphabet. She watched the petit philosopher with a pained scowl, crossing her arms to further brace her growing nausea. As Delphine got to the point, Persephone leaned in. Even as an auxillary, this must have been as much of a shock for Amarana's heir, who surely had fled to Arcias before getting a chance to experience any real fear. But a lost parent was a lost parent. And so Persephone held a steely gaze against her peer's in an instinctive parry, seeking only to match her own intent. But as the moment passed, she felt no clear aims at all, heard no more blithe remarks on the folly of dead men. This absence of aim sent shivers through her own face, and her lips trembled in search of a response. Was it really Delphine's pain she saw beneath her? Delphine's frailty? Feeling her eyes pulling back to the road, Persephone let her tongue fly free: "...I've k-killed them. They will never rise to see another day...Because of my hand, Amarana...!" Her gloved sword hand came out as a sign of confession, still damp with guilt from her victory. Now she, too, was without any aim, only hurt.(edited)

September 26, 2016

LadyDeme-09/26/2016

In response to that pain, Delphine's own felt quiet and still, resting gently on the back of her neck like a butterfly. Here was why, at the end of the day, for her mother's care and discipline, Delphine was better suited for the staff. Compassion overwhelmed her. Delphine considered Persephone's feelings carefully, and so there was a beat of silence. There was so much that could be said that it was hard to choose. Another person might soothe her with her valor -- and perhaps it'd speak to Persephone, who saw fulfilling your orders and rushing in and dying as beautiful. If it could, though, wouldn't she have been convinced by herself? And Delphine couldn't quite say it and mean it, nor could she point out that it was simply what war was. Not yet anyway. Instead she nodded, slowly. "It doesn't make you a monster. And it's an incredible burden to bear," she admitted, imagining her own powerlessness somehow increased, folded back -- when the strength became as much of a nightmare as the weakness did. She could have saved them, and she did not. Some of them, perhaps it was better. It wasn't as if the village didn't need to be saved. And yet, this did nothing. It was a cold chill, and she suspected a cold shadow. She reached up, extending her arm until it could reach that gloved hand from below, touching the back with her fingertips. "... You don't have to bear it with grace yet. To pretend it doesn't devour you at night. I wish I could have -- I wish circumstances could have allowed me to -- I wish I could have saved them, too. Even the ones who weren't only doing their jobs." If they'd had a tomorrow, beyond their punishment, who knows? She might think I'm such a fool. So be it. Her tone was pleading, her own heart placed on her tongue. "So please. It's not weakness -- to feel that weight, and to weep for them."(edited)

Kawkado-09/26/2016

Persephone's hand stirred at Delphine's touch, and she tensed her whole arm. But, slowly - just to return the gesture, of course - she turned her hand over, clutching Delphine's fingers desperately. Though shame stung at her eyes, and every word of comfort made her wince as if slapped, she gave an acknowledging nod. "Yet you saved me, Amarana...and Lorenzo, and the Gallibian. No one could ask you to do any more than your duty....but that hardly lightens the burden, does it." She could feel tears beginning to trickle back from her eyes.

LadyDeme-09/26/2016

For a minute, she was flattered. Given that they'd nearly lost two companions, she couldn't help but feel useless, worthless as she'd scurried to keep up and tried not to scream or run in amidst the chaos -- not to curl up into a ball. There were healers in their company with far more place on the battlefield than her own, and she knew it. Hearing otherwise might not have felt true, but it felt good, a little balm. "Neither could we ask more of you... And I know for a fact without every one of you fighting, I'd have died. And the people of the village would have died." She hated talk of duty -- but this was Persephone she was trying to give some comfort to, and in the end, a person was, philosophically, more important than philosophy. She wrapped her fingers around Persephone's own, and, as a sort of courtesy, did not point out Persephone's tears even more than Persephone had pointed out her own. "...But I don't think that knowing any good I did does lighten it -- right now. Maybe one day, it will; I don't know. And I wouldn't expect it to for you, either... But I believe you can bear it, all the same. Perhaps not alone... But there's no shame in that."

Kawkado-09/26/2016

Something in that faint praise lifted a weight from Persephone. Though she deserved it no more than the staff the villager had given her (in exchange for cowering behind the others, riding in only after the others had done the fighting for her), the girl sensed that there was little she could reveal right now that would turn her away. Never before had she been so eager for the company of the Flower of Amarana...seeing her, even here, was like a faint reminder of what had been. A time before killing, and fleeing, and strange campsites - and the hope of returning to such a time someday. "No. The time to turn back...has past." Clutching her companion's hand even tighter, Persephone let herself sob freely, quietly...weakly. "Just, don't go. Don't let them take you. I beg you, don't go." Her hoarse, hopeless voice was just above whisper.(edited)

September 27, 2016

LadyDeme-09/27/2016

"I won't." Easy and automatic. Compared to those hands, used to holding a sword and training for hours, Delphine's grip was a slight thing -- she'd done work as favors, but as often balanced items on the edge of her hip as her hand; it'd always been a thing best-suited to strum an instrument, or hold a pen. But she could think, for a moment, of the way her hands had found their way to the carriage's doors, and found them impossible to fling open again -- stronger hands sealing them tightly. And so she gripped very tightly, pinprick tears at the edges of her eyes, greener now for their red edges. If this is what her hands could reach, and pull towards a future where maybe something -- anything -- of that old world could recover, then she would have to make her grasp strong enough for it. The alternative was unacceptable. She spoke softly, but with just a hint of firmness, a certainty. "I won't... I'm here until the end -- I promise."

Kawkado-09/27/2016

Delphine's hand was the only answer she needed. The effort in her grip made her presence, her death-defying dedication, perfectly clear to Persephone. She let out a few more small sobs, turning away to finally wipe her eyes, then looked back to Delphine. Her voice lowered in a feeble attempt at coercion: "...don't even think of reneguing." From anyone else, it would have been an obvious joke, a chance to bounce back from their shared despair. But with this girl, and her sorrowful smile, it could very well have been an earnest threat.

LadyDeme-09/27/2016

Delphine blinks back the tears, realizing that the statement, however funny it was, was likely not a joke. Which was a shame: Persephone would have been a divine comedian, if she only had a sense of humor. Instead Delphine nodded, and did not retrieve her hand just yet. "Of course not." The war's enough risk as it is, she thought wryly, letting that despair lift a little anyway. Ahead of them, the rain forests waited, the line of their troops and pack stretching before them as the land warmed. There was a bit of a gap now, as they'd both slowed to let their feelings out, and let the rest pull ahead. When Persephone was quiet, she gestured to them with her spare hand. "...We'll be able to catch up."(edited)

Kawkado-09/27/2016

A short gasp came from her. The comrades up ahead had slipped her mind even before Delphine had come by, and she hadn't quite realized how much distance was now between them. "Heavens!" Her other hand came to her mouth, then to Yuridia's reins. With some hesitation, Persephone broke her grip, and pulled away. "We'd best hurry, or they could start to worry. Can you walk?"

LadyDeme-09/27/2016

"I can indeed. " She nodded, picking back up the bounce in her step as she proceeded to walk ahead -- confident in the knowledge that Yuridia would outpace her anyway, and she'd be left coming up with an expalanation for why she was so far behind. Well, maybe she could have stopped to watch a tropical bird or something -- that sounded like her. Before she'd gone too far, she turned her head back up and asked, "Are you OK for now?"

Kawkado-09/27/2016

"...I shall be." And with that, the horse began to move briskly on ahead. With a gold-black handkerchief, Persephone wiped out the rest of the tears that marred her face, and gave Delphine one last look, before returning her focus to the road ahead. Though the future terrified her, the girl had started to understand that perhaps she did not face it alone.

LadyDeme-09/27/2016

== End RP ==